a note to the boys of greenwood glen

a rant:

if you want to be a cheesey folk band with schtick and white snake-skin cowboy boots, that's ok. do your thing. i'm ok; you're ok; we're all ok. to each his own. etc. right?

just don't call yourself an "irish band" when your version of "that's another reason why i left Old Skibbereen" sounds like a stupid song from "a mighty wind." you are more a christopher guest than a chieftan.

on disappointment:
i've been told that i am a person who is often disappointed. i never let anyone know that they have disappointed me. i don't know why. i think it has something to do with them, then, having power over me. i really don't know.

when i am disappointed, though, i can't let go of the dream that has been dashed.

i was going to see an irish band tonight. i've known and looked to and counted on that fact all week. they would probably play the irish rover and get to heaven half an hour before the devil knows you are dead. i would sing along. maybe they would even sing wild rover and we would all wave our glasses in the air as we sang along and i dreampt that i was actually in ireland - in a place where life will be better - a place i dream of nearly every night - a place i've hidden many lonely or disappointing nights. i would eat clam chowder and have a bailey's coffee.

what happened? the band was not irish. they just weren't. they were infuriatingly un-irish. the bailey's coffee was horrible. there was no chowder. the fish and chips i ordered ended up making me feel sick. i could not picture being in ireland. nothing felt like home. it was not a dream.

but i clung. as my friends told me how miserable i looked, i clung: "maybe they will play the irish rover. even they can't make that un-irish." but they could and they would have if i didn't finally allow the dream to end and leave me unsatisfied and, once again, disappointed.

similarly, i just got an invitation to my 5 year college reunion. i'm a nanny and a failed youth minister. i have one graduate degree, but its nearly useless to me. i'm in school, and not doing much. i was going to graduate seminary at 23 and be in the mission field (ireland) for two years. i would be married and adopting my first child within a year. i have failed my dreams. more disappointment. always disappointment.

what will it mean to learn to live in disappointment? will i still have hope? will i cling to dying dreams? will i find something other than disappointment in a present that is nothing like the future i had dreamed it would be? will find fulfillment in being a nanny? will i be satisfied in my roles of friend, pastor, god-mother, unofficial aunt (the girl i nanny calls me "aunt becky"), social activist, dreamer, unpublished author, student, and yearning revolutionary?


tonight i am disappointed in the boys of greenwood glen and am finding fellowship and love with my friends...little lost and much gained.

correction

there are some things happening in Seattle, however, they have a local AIDS bent rather than a focus on the global pandemic. So...check these out and see what fits best.

I still hope to see you all (in the Seattle area) at Golden Gardens.

world aids day, seattle, 2006

so, what has broken my nearly 2 months of unintentional blog fasting? at this moment, i do not heart seattle. i am infact, based on a preliminary search for an AIDS day event to involve my church in, ashamed of her.

As far as I have been able to discover, there is nothing - no great out cry - no vigil - no demonstration - nothing!!! happening for World AIDS Day in Seattle. Two days later, there is a protest of Mars Hill Church, but nothing for AIDS Day.

I'm going to do something. Get a red candle - or two - and meet me at Golden Gardens at 7pm on Friday, December 1st. Invite friends, family, church member, ANYONE! EVERYONE!!! It won't be anything big, just a time for prayer, meditation, and hopefully sharing some information on what we, the people of my beloved city, can do.

This is not just some cause. It is the cause of our generation. If you think extreme poverty is the problem, you are wrong because you cannot treat extreme poverty without treating AIDS. Young farmers who could produce the food needed to feed their families are dying. Poverty cannot end amidst the AIDS pandemic.

In 2005, there were 2.8 million deaths resulting from AIDS. Of this 2.8 million, 2 million were in sub-saharan Africa. In sub-saharan Africa, 2.7 million children were newly affected with AIDS.

Every week, as many people die of AIDS as there were American casualties in the Vietnam War.

Women are in particular danger as they often do not have the right to decide whether or not to have sex and whom to have it with.

Stop for a minute, count: one-mississippi, two-mississippi, three-mississippi, four-mississippi, five-mississippi, six-mississippi, seven - stop. one person has been infected with AIDS.

6,000 children are orphaned by AIDS every day. 15.2 million children world wide have lost parents to AIDS and less than 10% are recieving aid from their governments.

Visit World Vision Austrailia's cite for some information on how AIDS affects sub-saharan Africa.
Take the World Vision AIDS test.
Contact the White House.
Become a World Vision AIDS prayer partner.
Take one minute and use your cell phone to sign a petition:
Just follow these simple text message instructions to "Make Your Mark for Children" affected by AIDS:

• Create a new text message with only the word “CHILD” in the message.
• Send that message to the number 77812.
• World Vision will confirm your petition signature and allow you to opt-in to periodic mobile alerts on World Vision HIV/AIDS relief efforts.
• If you are having trouble with the mobile petition, please add your signature to the online petition instead.

We cannot stand by.

so, i'm working on a new template, but blogspot is pissing me off...

hopefully there will be a new template by the end of the week.