an encounter at 30 thousand feet

with time to think again, i've decided to re-read i and thou. if you haven't read it, you should - as soon as possible - but slowly.

anyway, during my 14 hour trek of car to plane to exhaustive lay-over to plane to late luggage to bus to subway to train to walking to final exhausted arrival, i re-encountered walter kaufmann's introduction to i and thou.

here's what struck me:

the good way must be clearly good but not wholey clear

if the recommended path were utterly devoid of mystery, it would cease to fascinate [people].

the only god worth keeping is a god that cannot be kept. the only god worth talking about is a god that cannot be talked about. [god] is not object of discourse, knowledge or even experience. [god] cannot be spoken of but [god] can be spoken to; [god] cannot be seen but [god] can be listened to. the only possible relatoinship with [god] is to address [god] and be addressed by [god].

god is present when i confront you. but if i look away from you, i ignore [god]. as long as i merely experience and use you, i deny god, but when i encounter you, i encounter [god].



then, as i stared, overwhelmed, out the window, i met God:
flying away
from the work you've given
into the rest you've invited
my eyes accidentally meet yours
majestically burning, washing, and watching above the world you redeem

my mind rushes to accusation and projection
my heart tosses in a sea of question and distrust
my soul is drawn in and repulsed in a nausiating instant
my strength is gone and so does nothing

our heads are hung and our eyes are weepy
as we stand in a moment of tense experience

you speak silently:
you stand in a shadow of disappointment
of things waited for
the dark, loveless, graceless shadow
in whose darkness you hide
it is not my shadow
it is not the shadow of who i wait for
it is the shadow of the you that you are tired of waiting for.

do not create me in your image

i look again,
you stand regally over the world
with open hands
your weepy eyes weep
not with exhaustion....as mine do
not with disappointment...as mine do
not with pity...as mine do

they weep with perfect and present love
i see you
i adress you
i am adressed by you

encounter

how long have you been there
waiting for me
to peer honestly into your fire and ocean eyes
to be in present love