31.3.06

a slow migration toward glory


Have you ever looked at the sky on a day when the clouds more than blanket the eart - when they seem to create a luminescent ceiling for the earth? Have you noticed their slow, methodic movement - like an ancient migration? As you speed down i-5 maybe you feel like you are moving faster than the clouds, but their slow movement is so great that, paced as it is, it moves as though you were standing still. You know, something much much bigger than what i see or what i am is moving.

times like these, i remember God moves in much bigger ways that i can ever speed to keep up with or even fathom - God is simply there and moving.

Yesterday, i saw such clouds in my life. they were dark, but comforting. though they hid the brilliance of the sun (of course there is the hideous pun here "son"), the told me that the kingdom of God is moving beyond my understanding.
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at 1pm, the first funeral guests arrived. they greeted me with love and community
"hey, where's your black hoodie? deacon always wore back hoodie. you should have too. oh well. do they really let you work here with facial piercings? a tattoo too? wow. have you ever been a camp counselor? i go to camp to ride the horses. my name is peaches, but my real name is felicia. we have to let people know our real names. we have to stick together."

"hi, i'm trinidad, but really my name is josh. i want people to know that now. i'm not wearing any candy because deacon never did. it's in his memory."

at 2, the funeral started. around 2:30, the mic was opened for anyone to share a story about "deacon"

raver after raver after raver came to the mic. their words were holy. the experience was as vivid an experience as i've ever had of the kingdom of God.

at 3:30 (ish) my pastor stepped in to end the endless line of articulate mourners. he informed us that "deacon" was the one who held the door shut. he died saving the lives of many.

he then talked about how Chris' rave name was "deacon." He was a deacon at the church. he pledged an oath to serve the church and community with energy, intelligence, creativity and love. through the stories we heard, we knew he took this vow seriously. and so he is remembered as "deacon."

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none of it makes sense yet - but i see the clouds moving. i know God is working, slowly, tenderly, mightily and presently.

here is to waiting and watching as the clouds give way to a glorious painting in t he sky.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Becky,
I know of you because of an email from Annie. I used to go to church with her, and she was special to my daughter, Aubrey. I have been away from God for awhile...and so I was hesitant to post when you really needed it. I just never know what to say. For that,I am sorry. I am writing now to let you know that your words, the beauty of them, and your heart which longs for understanding and obviously loves others and God really touches me. I am amazed by someone with such strength and confidence. I never feel like I have either of those. I am awed by the clouds and fascinated that though we live under the same sky it seems so different hundreds of miles away. Clouds like these have always made me think of God as a glorious painter...His paintbrush choosing various colors and strokes...allowing light to peek out from behind and rays of the sun/son to seep through. Thank you for your courage, wisdom, and strength. I pray that you and Annie will continue doing the work of God. I pray He will bless you with comfort, peace, and love. Know that you make a difference in the world. Feel secure that others care. Even in your darkest hours, allow His arms to hold you. Thank you for allowing me to get a glimpse of your life, your sorrow, your thoughts.
My best to you. Under God's gaze,
Andria