locked in the ivory tower
i am almost finished with my grenz article. i read part of it to a friend i deeply respect and who is extremely intelligent - much more than she sees, admits, or is willing to hear.
she didn't understand what it meant. she told me that i'm the person to write the article. i know the terms. i understand the concepts.
what this means, though, is that i have forgotten how to communicate what matters in a way that can be recieved. what this means is that i have, after all, climbed the ivory tower. i just want to shout, FUCK! what good is study if i can't communicate it? what good is a quick mind if i can't bring other to the places my mind flys to? FUCK!
i don't even want to finish the article. it won't mean anything. it won't help anyone. it won't contribute anything more than another convoluted voice to pile of unapproachable and non-transformational voices of the inhabitants of the ivory tower.
the worst part is that i'm not positive that i didn't climb the tower on purpose at some point - to impress people - to impress or prove myself. now, i feel worthless.
1 comment:
i'm just reading this for the first time. my sweet friend - i fall in love with you more and more everyday. you are making an incredible mark: on this heart of mine, on our flawed, beautiful community, on seattle, on this world. and it is such an incredible blessing to be journeying with you at this point in your story. the walk you've been called to is not one for the faint of heart, mind, body or spirit. you were the one to write that paper. you are the one to facilitate the beginning of sinners and saints and seattle. you are the one to help wake my ass up in the mornings. each facet of you - intricately and preciously prepared for each situation and circumstance to reflect God's passion for life, for people and for everlasting things. you are the hidden pearl. that is the opposite of worthless. thank you.
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