Imagine a Bitter Taste in Your Mouth

There are somethings that only some voices can share. I'm really tired of being "a women in ministry" because I just want to be a person in ministry - but, maybe it's important for people to see what pain following my calling and gifting has brought me...so, take a deep breath and begin to imagine being a woman called to ministry in middle class white America:

Imagine a decade of everytime you tell someone your dreams for the future, cowering like a beaten dog, wondering what chastization is coming your way.

Imagine being in high school and every time someone asks you the usual, "what are you going to do when you grow up" question, being scared - and meeting with not only disapproval of you, but even conversations with your parents about how they can fix the rebellious and sinful problem you are.

Imagine fianlly breaking away from that to dread the "what's your major" question in college.

Imagine your church praying for you to get married to a pastor so that you'll be satiated.

Imagine your friends all concocting some sort of career for you where you are not a pastor since "you've wasted all that education already."

Imagine just going to the cafeteria of your undergrad to eat lunch and having five or six people tell you that their pastor said that if you are a woman going into ministry, you need to repent and find a husband.

Imagine leaving everyone you know to cross the nation and arriving at a school where your first contact asks you how many women are in the MDiv and says the number scares him - you breathe a breath of rare hope - then he says he can't believe that a school like ours would let women into the MDiv program.

Imagine finally finishing that degree to be turned down for jobs because you are a woman - and worse - a single woman.

Imagine finally getting a position and being constantly mistreated by older men because you are a young woman.

This is only a taste, but maybe you see how a taste of something so bitter could be embittering.