leaving lake city

today i leave my charge
today i am greeted
by failure and freedom locked incestually together
by soul-shaking solitude and the hope of communal afershock perichoretically joined
do i join the dance
am i lost in that dance

like a 3/4 time waltz of nausiating hope and disappointment
can i step into this swirling world

once i took waltz lessons
for the wedding of a friend
her father-in-law scared me
i wore a new dress and comfortable shoes
one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three and on
on your toes then back to the ground
smoothly turn without looking down
you circle and circle and how long can it last
one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three
the beat picks up pace
onetwothree, onetwothree,onetwothree
nausia increases and perichoresis gives way to dreams of flight
nausiagrowsmonserousandperichoresisdisappearsinthequakeoftremblingfear
onetwothreeonetwothreeonetwothreeonetwothree
stop

zach morris walks in and freezes frame long enough to ask the question
do i want off the swirling merry-go-round?
do i want out of the dance?
in this moment, i see a vision of a burnt-out and meaningless life of chores
waiting and watching dancing with the stars on syndicated television from a lazy boy
the distant pulse continues without me
onetwothreeonetwothreeonetwothree
stop

let me on

today, i do not leave my charge
today i am greeted
by failure and faith locked incestually together
by soul-shaking solitude and the hope of communal afershock perichoretically joined
i join the dance
and there i
am lost