grieving great loss
I had drinks and painful moments with good people tonight.
I had really disconnected with the pain of being a woman going into ministsry. it really hurts.
it seems there is something important and beautiful in actually sitting in a sense of "woe is me that I am called to minsitry and get chastized for it when my brother is lauded for it." to actually sit and be in the depth of loss for myself and my sisters in the Kingdom that our brothers are embraced and even prodded into ministry and we only emerge through struggle - struggle that, as I experienced it, is numbing.
i have been deeply wounded, and pretending it away is not strong, but actually weak.
3 comments:
i find tears in my eyes after tonight, and yet i am also so proud. proud of us for talking for trying to hear. your voice was so very important and i was so glad you spoke. we have been asked to speak...to bring with us our pain and our passion. i hope that we can be strong and hold both the sorrow and hope well.
Becky...thanks so much for sharing your fears. I hope that we as women in this program can walk beside one another, mourn our losses together, and figure out how to be in the midst of this messy situation.
Take comfort... Becky... I will send you an encouraging email I got... a girl I know in Croatia told me her church is finally allowing youth and womend on their leadership board... it takes only small steps to change the world, but those steps do make a difference... We love a God who was with us, men and women, every sinner of the rainbow and character and shape... I'm glad of that... even if ti takes time for people to realize it...
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